A Letter To The Other Woman, Who Was Once a Friend..
It took me well over one year to post this, forgiveness is a bitch!
Do you remember when we first met? I do. It was a typical busy day in the store, young girls were running on and off the runway, admiring their makeover in full length mirrors and lip synching to the latest Hannah Montana song. Business was doing very well since opening in late 2010 and things were falling into place financially for me. I desperately needed more stylist and suddenly you walked in acquiring about a job as a hairdresser. I was elated, my prayers had been answered and I immediately scheduled an interview as I was desperate for hairdressers. You were hired within days. You became a part of my team, my family. I saw how caring, sweet, intelligent you were and I knew I made the right decision. As months passed, we became very close, you were very easy to talk too and gave great advice based on your struggles. We talked much about our personal lives especially our husbands. We became very good friends.
I learned you became a mother at the young age of 17 and I felt sorry for you because you lost an experience of being young, carefree, and discovering what life is at that tender age. You told me how your husband wasn’t there for you, he didn’t help much with the housework, the kids, the financials. I became your confidant, your friend. I empathize with your struggles as I felt the same disconnect with my husband. We shared so many stories as we had so much in common.
I hired your daughters to work alongside us and gave them an opportunity as they struggled to find jobs, we were truly a family affair now. I admired your daughters as they were fighters just like you but also carrying much baggage from childhood trauma based on all they endured between you and your husband. They told me stories of their childhood and the trauma they endure from it, I saw the effects of the trauma in their reckless behavior. I was there for them, listening and offering advice because we were a family.
As I expanded my business, I offered you the salon manager title because I knew I could depend on you and trust you. The new opportunity helped you save more money so you can buy your own car since your husband didn’t help you financially, as you told me. My husband quit his job so he can help run the businesses, he managed the new store where you were the manager.
Your struggles in your marriage continued, you left your husband and moved in with your parents and I supported your decision, was there for you. You cried to me and my heart went out to you because I know how hard marriages can be.
My marriage struggled as well but we were still together and were working on it since we both come from a spiritual and religious home, loved each other and our boys. You knew no marriage is perfect yet you chose to destroy mine. You knew my struggles in my marriage and used them to get close to my husband and manipulated him with your stories. He listened to you, offering his friendship but you wanted more. What your husband couldn’t give you, you decided to take from my husband. This was not your first affair or the first family you destroyed. You had an affair with a man at your father’s barber shop, you destroyed a young family because you were incapable of keeping a family of your own. You had choices and you decided to make the wrong ones to benefit yourself.
You were a mother to all who worked with us, a voice of reason, a friend. Everyone respected you but all that has changed when they saw what you are capable of doing to a friend.
We all have choices but you made this choice because it made you feel good. We all want these good feelings in our lives but it shouldn’t be at the expense of other people’s lives.
I feel sorry for you because you have to use lies for a man to give you attention as you did with my husband, among other men. We all knew you had a rough past with your husband but the lies you told my husband and how you manipulated him is a new low even for you. You are a mother of two girls and a grandmother, what type of a role model are you for them? The night I found out you were having an affair with my husband, I called your daughters who cried with me, they felt my pain when they found out what you did to me and my family.
You were a friend, a confident but you used me to get close to my husband. You would often ask how our relationship was going, I felt blessed to know I had a friend who was there for me and wanted to help. Only to realize later, you were only fishing for information because you saw a picture of us on Facebook.
I have trauma over the text messages, the videos and the pictures you sent my husband, I have PTSD! I often think how a friend who I trusted so much can hurt me. When I asked you these questions, your response was, “Nisha, your marriage was already destroyed.” My marriage was not destroyed, you destroyed it. But, if it makes you feel better you can believe what you want.
After all the lies you told about how miserable you were with your husband and how badly he treated you, you ran back to him while destroying many lives in your aftermath. You painted a horrible picture of him and made yourself the victim but in reality he’s the victim of your games. I wish he will see through you but he loves you too much to see that side of you. I wish him peace.
This is my reality now, I didn’t choose to be here but I am. I fight everyday with my emotions and trauma, I fight against the anger and bitterness so I can get through one more day. I keep telling myself this is not happening to me but for me. Whatever lesson I need to learn from this I will and I hope the same for you.
